The want nearly had a physical sensation, like an itch somewhere beneath the surface of my skin. Like something was missing. Like thirst. It rose from the soles of my feet and enveloped my whole body in a desperate craving for touch, but it was strongest between my… well, there. Yeah, I got boners too, but when the want came, jerking off didn’t satisfy it. That was the scary part. And it kept getting stronger and more frequent.
Sitting at the dinner table in King Hall or at my desk during class, my mind would drift and start to imagine not a chair underneath me but Brian’s lap, the way he held me after the spanking, only neither of us have pants on and he’s thrusting up into me, keeping me there so I just have to take all of him, stretching and filling and maybe finally scratching the itch, and then– my polisci prof called my name for a second time.
“Pay attention, Platt. Mohyeldin, would you help him out?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Mohyeldin from the desk next to me. “Great Britain’s government is a constitutional monarchy.”
“That’s right,” she said, and went back to whatever she’d been writing on the whiteboard.
Mohyeldin glanced at my lap and gave me an amused smirk. I moved forward in my chair so the desk blocked his view.
After the class ended, he followed me into the hallway. “Nice daydream, Platypus?”
He didn’t, but he did change the subject.
What if he’d pressed? He was good at that. Would I ever be able to tell him what I’d been thinking about? Ask all the questions I had? Find out if it was really as hot as I pictured?
No. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even imagine asking Seb. I’d just… handle this on my own.
Brian and I messed around nearly every Saturday. Sometimes with Justine watching, sometimes not. I was getting better at serving him orally, thanks to his lessons. He demonstrated techniques on me and then had me copy them. It took all my concentration. If I did my best, my reward was him finishing in my mouth. If I lost focus or tried to rush, I had to kneel and just watch his orgasm. Hard to imagine that a few weeks ago, I’d been hesitant to taste come, even my own. Now when I didn’t, I was disappointed.
Maybe that was my answer: Try it first myself, like with the come. Then it would be easier to bring up with Justine and Brian.
So one night, I disconnected my phone from the USNA wifi network and found a website that sold adult toys. All kinds. I blushed at a dildo called “Mistress”. Would Jus ever…?
Getting too far ahead of myself. I tapped on a link that said Anal Play for Beginners. It was a short article with a list of suggested items. Nothing scary. I picked a small plug with a curved end to hit the prostate. Added a bottle of lube listed in the “you may also like” section. Then my finger hovered over the checkout button.
I couldn’t send it to my Yard address. All our packages were screened. I wasn’t sure how thoroughly, but better not to take the chance. Mohyeldin and Seb had that new house they were moving into, but Mohyeldin would ask too many questions about me wanting to send it there. That left one choice.
“Nak? Would your sponsor family mind if have a package shipped to their house?”
He stopped tossing a ball in the air and frowned over his shoulder. “You don’t want it to go through the Academy mail?”
“It’s expensive,” I lied. “You know how things go missing in the mail room.”
“Okay.” He shrugged. “Just put both our names on it so they know it’s for me.”
A few days later, Nak put a small, square cardboard box on the desk in front of me while I was doing homework. “Your package came.”
“Oh.” It looked so innocent. “Thanks.”
I waited until he went out to open it.
The bottle of lube had a pink label. I wish they’d made it gray or something. Good size, though. The article said not to skimp on it.
I put it down and, swallowing, took out the buttplug.
It felt heavy and solid. The end was much more bulbous than I’d thought. Weren’t they supposed to be tapered? Well, the website recommended this one for beginners, so it couldn’t be too difficult.
After returning everything to the box, I shoved it into the back of my personal locker.
Now I just had to get up my nerve to use it.
A week later, another attack of the itch hit during dinner. Brian walked by my table as he left King Hall and gave me such a possessive look, I got hard in an instant. I hurried back to my room with my fists in my pockets to hide the way my pants were tented out. My… rear area… felt like it was throbbing. All I could think of was the plug. Thank God that Nak had an away football game.
I turned on the shower the second I walked through the door. While I waited for the water to heat up, I got the box and set it on the counter by the sink. Then I quickly skimmed the article again. Use lots of lube; take your time; if it hurts, slow down. Straightforward enough.
I stripped my clothes and stepped into the shower stall. First order of business was washing. I gave my whole body a once-over with shower gel on a washcloth. That alone felt nice. I had to stop myself from wrapping my wet hand around my erection.
Wait, it’s going to get better.
Squirting more gel onto my fingertips, I slipped them between my buttocks. My breath was shaky. I’d never cleaned myself with my bare hand back there, but it seemed like the perfect way to ease into this.
Were those my moans? I truly couldn’t help them. It felt too good. My toes curled against the tiled floor and my eyes rolled back in my head.
After a minute or so of just tracing circles on my entrance, I turned and let the water wash the soap away. Then I reached through the curtain and grabbed the lube and plug. I set the plug on the shelf, opened the lube, and drizzled some onto my hand.
Not as thick as I imagined. Slippery, though. I traced more circles with it, standing outside the spray of the shower so it didn’t all go down the drain. My dick twitched in appreciation. Or impatience.
Okay, time to get serious.
Tentatively, I pressed on the center of the circle with my index finger. That felt nice, too, but nothing happened. No easy slide in. If anything, the ring of muscle tightened up.
How does anyone do this?
Blinking water off my eyelashes, I tried to remember what the article said. Push out to relax. Right. I put more lube on my fingertip and tried again. This time, about a quarter of an inch made it inside. Better. Somewhat.
Maybe my angle was wrong? People didn’t usually do this upright, I bet. The stall was too cramped for me to bend over without poking out of the curtain, but if I knelt…
I grabbed the plug. Didn’t want to stand and get it when I was ready. With it in one hand and the bottle of lube in the other, I carefully went down on my knees.
This was how Brian liked me best when I was sucking him off. Kneeling on a cushion between his legs, so he could reach down and squeeze or swat my rear end. I could almost smell his scent there with me. You’re training for Sir, I reminded myself. Focus. Give it your best.
My heart slowed. With still more lube, I tried again.
So tight. Relax, relax.
I blinked in surprise. Now I was getting somewhere. And it wasn’t bad. No pain at all. Just an odd feeling of discovering a new part of my own body. I wiggled my finger and arched my back and–
Waves of pleasure rippled out from my touch like I’d thrown a pebble into a pond. That had to be my prostate. My hips rocked of their own accord. More. I pressed my middle finger in alongside the first. It wasn’t as easy. There was… not pain, but definite stretching. C’mon, relax!
After a moment of concentration, the discomfort went away. Yes, I’m doing it!
I looked down at the plug in my other hand. Bet that bulbed end would be amazing. It was about the same width as my two fingers, too. Eagerly, I pulled them out and rinsed the lube off, then grabbed the bottle and squeezed more onto the plug. It was difficult to keep it all from running down to the base. I spread it around as best as I could.
But in that short few seconds, everything back there had tightened up again. When I tried to push the plug in, it felt even more impossible than my finger had at first.
I spent several minutes coaxing, and alternating the plug with my hand, and lecturing myself to relax, but I wasn’t going to give up now. Not when I knew how good it would be. Plus, the lube bottle was almost half-empty. If I ran out without succeeding, it would take days to deliver another order. I couldn’t wait that long.
So when I pressed on the plug once more and the stretching sensation turned into the slightest twinge of pain, I ignored it. It barely hurt, anyway. I was almost there. Maybe if I rocked?
Yeah, that was working. I could feel it slipping deeper at last.
And then I was past the widest part, and in an instant, it sucked into me all the way to the flanged base, which nestled itself between my cheeks.
My groan was more shock than pleasure this time. I hadn’t expected it to be so quick. I stayed still for a moment, assessing.
Full and stretched open. Just like I’d wanted. The curve of the plug was going the wrong way to hit my prostate, though. And my feet had pins and needles from kneeling for so long. I should stand before I did anything else.
I steadied myself on the wall as I unbent my stiff legs and rose. Blood flow returned to my feet. The pins and needles intensified. I held onto the shelf and waited for them to stop.
Huh, that’s odd. Gray clouding the edges of my vision, as if I’d stood up too fast.
Why couldn’t I hear the water anymore? Where was this ringing coming from? I clutched the shelf hard and shook my head, but it stayed. And my thoughts were too slippery to hold onto, like soap.
Soap? Yes. Need to wash before I touch there.
Wait. Why do I have the bottle of soap in my hand?
Words slurring: “Why’d I pick tha’ up?”
Already did it, silly.
In the shower. Can’t hear the water.
Did I turn it off?
Take the plug out.
I yanked it free and let it drop to the tiles.
Now sit down.
Stumbling through the fog, I somehow found my desk chair and collapsed into it, bent over myself with my forearms on my knees. Water dripped from my nose to the floor.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
I’m going to die. They’ll find me naked with a butt plug in the shower.
No. No, just breathe a minute.
Drip… Drip… Drip….. Drip…… Drip……..
The gray faded. I could see a puddle of water beneath me.
Yes. I’m in my room. I’m not dying. Ringing in my ears is going away. Good.
Oh, yeah. Didn’t dry off.
What the hell just happened?
I swallowed and cautiously straightened up. Dizziness made my head spin. I was facing the door. Still locked. Thank you, Lord.
It was Him who told me to take out the plug and sit down, too. I had no doubt. But that didn’t answer why I’d almost fainted. I closed my eyes and asked, Is this Your way of telling me not to be bi? Punishment for my sinful act?
That didn’t seem right. Being bi wasn’t a sin.
Or did I just want to believe it wasn’t? How could I deny such a strong sign? Unless it was a normal physical reaction. Though nothing I’d read or ever heard of mentioned fainting as a side-effect of anal play.
I’d figure it out later. Right now, I had to make sure I wasn’t dripping wet and nude when Nak came in.
I held onto the edge of my desk as I stood, just in case my knees gave way. Shuffled back to the shower cubby and patted my body over with a towel. Grabbed the butt plug. It looked the same as before I put it in. No blood or anything to explain my body going into shock.
My behind was sore, though. And I was still a little queasy. What if I really hurt myself?
I washed the plug and stuck it back in the box with the lube, then dried the trail of water I’d left to my chair as best as I could before I put the box in my locker. Took a tissue from my desk and used it to wipe away the now-sticky lube between my buttocks. When I was done, I saw just a tiny spot of pink on it. That couldn’t be too bad, right?
I sat down again to shove my feet through the legs of a pair of sweatpants. Once I was dressed, I climbed into my rack with my phone and texted Mohyeldin. Can you come to my room? I need to ask you something.
He answered a minute later. Sure. Give me fifteen. I’m out on a training run.
I felt like I’d just run a few miles, too. A bone-deep exhaustion rolled over me despite the worry. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
Knocking on my door woke me. No, make that banging.
“Platt, you in there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I muttered, clambering down to the floor with my eyes half-closed.
I unlocked the door and yanked it open to glare at him. “Stop yelling.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Sorry. You ask for my help and then don’t answer the door after the second time I knock, I get worried.”
“I was sleeping. Come in.”
He did, with a frown. “Odd time for a nap. Something wrong?”
Now that he was here, I wished I hadn’t asked him to come. I shut the door and pushed my hands into the pockets of my sweatpants. Mohyeldin’s eyes scanned over my bare torso like he was looking for an explanation written on my skin (bruises?). My gaze dropped to the floor.
“Why do I want to swat you right now?”
My head jerked up. I could feel spots of color on my cheeks. He was smiling. It gave me chills. I knew he wouldn’t actually do it, yet like always, the suggestion made me nervous. And ashamed.
“I’ll allow one hint,” he said. “It’s got to do with how you’re not answering my question. Is something wrong?”
“I–I’m not sure,” I said. “That’s why I texted you. I have a… a health thing.”
His frown returned, but more words refused to form themselves in my mouth. I took a step away and crouched down to spin the combination into my locker. Reaching inside, I grabbed the box, stood, and thrust it towards him before I could change my mind.
He opened it. Then he looked at me. “Uhhh, this is a butt plug.”
I nodded and did my best to keep my chin up.
Mohyeldin turned the box around the other way. “And a… a half-used bottle of lube? Kid, have you…?”
“Only once,” I mumbled. “I was trying it for the first time. Just now.”
“Okaaay,” he said. “I’m glad you feel comfortable experimenting. Where does the health question come in, though?” His eyes narrowed in concern. “Did it hurt?”
“No.” My skin was going to burn off. “But after it was… inside, I almost passed out.”
“Ohhhh,” he said, relaxing. “Yeah, that can happen.”
I blinked and stared at him. “It can?”
“Yeah, it’s… I forget what the medical term is. Quint and Cameron would know. Starts with a V.” He shrugged. “But it’s this reaction some people get to certain kinds of stimulus. Your blood pressure drops and it makes you faint. And one of those kinds of stimulus happens to be, uh,” —he laughed a little— “straining your rectum, I guess you’d say?”
For a moment, I was speechless. “But… why don’t people mention it when they talk about this stuff, then?”
“It’s kinda rare, from what I’ve gathered,” he said, shrugging again and setting the box down on my desk. “I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t google my own symptoms.”
“Yep. First time I bottomed with Seb—which, y’know, was also the first time I bottomed ever—I fainted. Came to about thirty seconds later with him in a complete panic. I wish I had known about it beforehand, too. Would’ve saved us both a traumatic experience.” He sat on my desk chair and regarded me with something like regret. “If you had mentioned you were going to try this, I’d’ve warned you.”
I couldn’t process it. “You fainted?” Had he said Seb did, I’d have an easier time believing. But Mohyeldin?
“Yes, I fainted,” he said, with amused patience. “Why are you caught up on that part?”
“You don’t seem like the type.”
“It’s got nothing to do with my personality…. Or yours, by the way,” he added. “It doesn’t mean you’re weak, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I wasn’t,” I said. If I had to put a label on it, the quality Seb had that seemed to go with fainting, it’d be… “More sensitive.”
“Which you associate with weakness,” said Mohyeldin, and then held up his hand. “No, don’t deny it. That’s not your fault. You were conditioned.”
I didn’t deny. I simply changed the subject. “Does this, um, whatever-it’s-called stimulus thing mean I won’t be able to bottom?”
All my fantasies. Gone.
Mohyeldin shook his head. “I said the first time I bottomed, it happened. We slowed down after that, and eventually, with a lot of persistence and convincing Seb he wasn’t going to kill me, we were much more successful. I do prefer to top, but it’s for other reasons.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay.”
He smiled. “You feel better now?”
“Yeah. When I saw the blood, I was scared–”
“Whoa whoa, wait a minute.” Mohyeldin leaned forward in the chair. “Blood? You said it didn’t hurt.”
“Barely,” I said. It hadn’t been worth mentioning. “And it was a tiny speck of blood.”
Something flickered over his face. A sort of disbelief and exasperation with a threat thrown in. “Okay, you’re going to have that looked at,” he said.
“What? NO.” I took a step back.
“Kid, you could have damaged yourself more than you realize. The infirmary doesn’t have to know how you did it.”
My hands flew behind me as if to block my rear end from view. “I’m not letting some random nurse look at my asshole!” I said, louder than I meant to. My face flamed up again.
Mohyeldin tilted his head and asked, cheerfully, “Hey, you remember in January when you were refusing to get your kidneys checked out after that bad scene and I told Cameron and she ordered you to, as Company Commander?” He grinned wider. “Now imagine I’m telling Myrick and he has the power to do a lot more than give orders.”
“You’d do that?” I asked. Although the answer should have been obvious. He did before.
Still smiling, he said, “I don’t mess around with health issues. Ask Seb.”
I bit my lower lip. That time, I just had to have a scan of my torso. How could I face the humiliation of a more thorough physical examination by a stranger?
“If not the infirmary, what if Myrick looks at it himself?” Mohyeldin asked. “He should be able to tell if it’s serious.”
I was already shaking my head (mortified). “I’m not ready for him to… to see me there, either.”
Mohyeldin snorted. “There’s a very good chance he’s already seen everything while he spanked you, you know. Unless he does it with you standing upright.”
My jaw dropped. Brian could– He never mentioned!
Smiling apologetically, Mohyeldin said, “Sorry. My point is, it’s not that big a deal. Anyway, I’m assuming you bought the plug with him in mind. That’s why you’ve been distracted lately, yeah?”
“Yesss, but I can’t talk about it with him.” My voice sounded so whiney and immature. I wished I could punch myself. “What if he… wants to do stuff?”
“As your friend, I’ll tell you now that if he tries to rush you into anything, I will kick his ass,” said Mohyeldin. “But I don’t see him trying. And as a Top? This reluctance to even bring up the subject looks an awful lot like withholding.”
Seb predicted that would be my biggest problem. He was right. My head hung.
“So what’s it gonna be, kid? Infirmary or Myrick?”
I sighed. “I’ll tell Brian.”
We found him in the weight gym on a rowing machine. He looked over as we walked through the door. Mohyeldin touched my shoulder, whispering, “I’ll wait outside, make sure no one else comes in while you talk.”
“Okay.” I slunk towards Brian.
He’d stopped his workout. “What is it, pet?”
Coming up next to the machine, I hesitated. Then I knelt on the floor. It wasn’t right for me to stand above him. Especially not when I had something to confess.
I swallowed and told him everything. From the fantasies to buying the plug to what happened in the shower and afterward. My voice stumbled a few times. My pulse drummed in my ears. But it got easier as I went on.
Brian was silent, his expression unreadable, while he listened. Until I said why I was there, that Mohyeldin had insisted on it.
“So you wouldn’t have told me if he didn’t make you?”
My stomach turned over. “I didn’t want to have to explain to you… what I was doing.”
He got up and called to the half-open door, “Mohyeldin?”
Mohyeldin came in. He looked at me, kneeling submissively next to Brian.
Then Brian stepped between us so I saw nothing of Mohyeldin’s face, and said, “Thank you. We no longer need your services.” His voice was emotionless as stone. Like the stone I turned into.
“Him texting me first wouldn’t have been my choice either, you know,” said Mohyeldin, almost sad. “He didn’t tell me what it was about until I got there.”
“I know,” said Brian. Each word distinct. “I will manage it from this point.”
Slowly, Mohyeldin’s feet took a step backward. He turned and disappeared out the door again. Brian waited thirty seconds before he snapped his fingers and strode off. I scrambled to follow.
“Don’t be mad at him?” I asked in the hallway, looking up at his set features as I tried to stay by his side. “Please?”
He face cracked into a glare. “I’m mad at you, little boy.”
Oh. That was better.
Neither of us said anything else on our winding path through the building. I thought we were leaving, but Brian stopped in front of the door to a single-stall restroom. He glanced up and down the hallway, grabbed my arm, and dragged me into it.
“Take your pants down and bend over.”
I backed against the sink. “Look, Mohyeldin was overreacting. I saw a tiny little dot of blood. I feel fine now.”
My middle name from his lips never fails to make me feel nine years old. I struggled to keep some sort of adulthood. The best I could do was standing up, straight and tall, and meeting his dark glower eye to eye. “I don’t want the first time you see me that way to be like this.”
“You think I do?” he asked. “Do you know why I’m mad?”
I frowned. “Because I asked Mohyeldin for help instead of you.”
Brian shook his head. “I don’t like that. Not at all. But I can understand you’ve been friends with him longer than we’ve been together. And I’m glad he knew what the fainting was about, and convinced you to tell me, so I can let it go.” His jaw tightened for a moment. “No, I’m furious because you ignored the pain, and now even if you’re okay, it’s turned what should have been a special moment of intimacy between us into something clinical.”
Yes. That was exactly why I hated it, too. He put it into the words I didn’t have. Brian must’ve fantasized himself about the first time we did this. I’d stolen that from him. A lump rose in my throat. Trying to make it right, I said, “It doesn’t have to be that way, though.”
“If you think I’m not going to check–”
“No, I meant, it doesn’t have to be clinical,” I said (heart racing). “Does it? We could… kind of… make it a scene?”
He blinked. “A scene.”
His eyes swept up and down me again, considering. But then he said, “I’m not in the right frame of mind to do a scene.”
Disappointment made my gaze drop to the tiled floor. I hooked my thumbs into my waistband, prepared to lower my sweats and bend over as he’d originally asked.
I peeked up.
He sighed. “I need to call Jus to ask what I should be looking for and what should cause concern. She’ll have a better idea. I want to run the fainting thing by her as well. Maybe once I’ve done that, I’ll regain my calm.”
I imagined listening to him describe what I did to Justine. My gut twisted with embarrassment. Would it be better or worse than telling her myself?
He surprised me, though. Reaching behind himself, he unlocked the door and pushed down on the handle. “Stay here. I’ll find somewhere private to talk to her.”
Gratefully, I said, “Yes, sir.”
I waited while sitting on the closed lid of the toilet. He was gone a long time. I found myself remembering Justine’s admonishment over Thanksgiving that I should tell her myself if I was in a life-threatening situation again. Would she be angry too? Was that why he was taking forever?
Before I could get too worried, though, he knocked and called my name.
Opening the door, I asked, “What did she say?”
He came through and locked us in again. “That if you’re able to kneel comfortably, you should be fine. I’m still going to check.” His eyes rolled towards the ceiling. “She was also fascinated that you had a vasovagal reaction to it. Said she’d never heard of that but it wouldn’t surprise her if it’s more common than anyone knows, because of the taboo around talking about anal sex. When I hung up, she was going online to do research.”
“That doesn’t sound like she’s mad.” She must not think this is very serious.
Brian confirmed my thoughts. “No. She found my anger amusing, actually. She told me I’m in no position to judge your secrecy and lack of caution, since I’ve never been penetrated. I disagree.” He gave me a stern look, but it quickly dropped. “We’ll get to that later. You’re sure you want this to be a scene, pet?”
I’d had time to think about that, too. I nodded, explaining, “I want to feel aroused, not embarrassed by it. I’m… I’m not ready for you to touch me more than you need to, to check, though.”
He bent and brought our lips together. The tenderness I felt in his touch proved that his anger really was gone. Then his large hand cupped my dick through my sweatpants. Not fondling. More as if he was simply taking possession of it. It started to swell in response.
“You are my submissive,” he growled. “Do you accept that?”
Electric tingles buzzed through my veins. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good. You’ve done well in your tests so far. You’re growing and learning how to please me.”
I ducked my head and bit my lip against a smile.
His free hand caught my chin and nudged it up. “Look at me, pet.”
I did. Fire danced in his pupils.
“This is another test of your submission,” he said. “Your willingness to bend to my desires. If you try your hardest, you’ll be rewarded. Understand?”
Oh, I wanted that. I breathed, “Yes, Sir.”
He nodded once in approval. Then his hands went to my waist, and with a single tug, I was bare to my knees. I hadn’t bothered to put on underwear after the shower.
“Turn around and rest your elbows on the sink,” said Brian.
I did, avoiding the mirror. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see myself this way.
His hand slipped between my thighs from the rear. Automatically, I moved my feet a few inches apart to give him room, and his fingers caressed my sack. Our “lessons” had taught me what pleasure could come from that. I spread my legs as far as I could with my sweatpants constricting my movement. That felt hot, too.
“Look at your reflection,” he ordered.
I glanced back once in half-hearted protest before obeying. The mirror showed my face flushed with want, my lips parted and glistening. Brian stood directly behind me. If I hadn’t known better, it would’ve looked like he was making love to me.
He leaned over and whispered into my ear: “The first time I push into you, I’m going to make sure you can watch yourself and see how big and dark your eyes get.”
They were pretty dark now. Only a millimeter of blue ringed my pupils.
With his other hand, Brian started to stroke and squeeze my buttocks. I could feel the itch between them again. I squirmed.
He stopped. “Does that hurt?”
I shook my head and pushed back into his grip.
“Tell me immediately if it does.”
“Yes, Sir. Please–”
I broke off in a gasp. He had suddenly taken a firm grip on each cheek, his thumbs parting them. In the mirror, I could see him crouch down to get a better view. The actual purpose behind this scene came rushing back, along with my self-consciousness. I clenched.
He glanced up again. “Relax. Show yourself to me.” His voice was thick and dark and slow. Molasses. Hypnotizing. “Submit.”
I allowed the muscles under his hands to loosen. They molded to his touch now.
“That’s it, pet. Let me have a closer look.”
His thumbs gently pulled on either side, and I felt his breath brush over the exposed skin of my valley. It felt… mind-blowingly good. So vulnerable, so submissive. More than ever before. I arched my back and went onto my toes. Offered myself up to him. Wanton.
“Goooood,” he said. “Hold still.” He massaged his thumbs all around that sensitive spot for long seconds. “I don’t see anything wrong. Justine said it’s possible there’s a microscopic fissure where the blood came from, but it’ll heal on its own quickly. You’re fine.”
I was barely paying attention to his words. When he stood and let go, though, I whimpered. “Please, Sir, touch me?”
He met my gaze in the mirror. “Where, pet?”
“Back– back there.”
“No, say where,” he commanded. “Be specific, so I know.”
My face burned as hot as his eyes. “Um, my… hole? Just on the outside?”
He smiled. Reaching forward, he tapped his right index and middle fingers against my lips. “Get them wet.”
I sucked the tips of them into my mouth and swirled my tongue over his salty skin. It reminded me of going down on him, so I tried to mimic some of his favorite techniques in the short time he let me. Then he pulled them out and reached between my cheeks once more. I held my breath.
And it was like when I first started exploring back there in the shower, except a hundred times better because I knew it was Sir’s touch I felt circling that ring of muscle, and his other hand stole beneath me and wrapped around my neglected erection, and my whimpers sounded like crying, it was so good, and when he began tapping his two fingers right on the center of my hole, it was like he drove my orgasm out of me. I shook with pleasure.
He caught most of my come in his palm. The rest landed on the inside of my shirt where it hung down. I stayed collapsed over the sink as he drew my pants up and stepped forward to rinse his hand off. I couldn’t get up the energy to clean it with my tongue like I suddenly wanted to. Maybe next time.
I rolled my head to the side and looked at him from one eye. “Did I do good, Sir?”
“Yes, pet,” he said, shaking water from his hand.
I licked my lips. “Can I have my reward now, Sir?”
In answer, he pulled me upright by the shoulder, turned me, and pushed until I sat down on the toilet lid. “Go on,” he said, stepping closer. “You earned it.”
I didn’t need to be told more than once. In a blink, I had his cock free and in my mouth.
He was still breathing hard when he moved away and wiped my saliva off with a paper towel. Throwing it out, he straightened his clothes. Then he sighed deeply. “It’s getting late. We can’t delay taking care of the last part.”
It dawned on me what he meant. My rear end tensed for a whole new reason. “But I’m fine!”
One thick eyebrow rose. “And if you weren’t, I’d be dragging you to a doctor instead of spanking you.” His strong arms lifted me and moved me out of the way so he could sit on the toilet lid instead. “Take your pants down.”
I wanted to stomp my foot. “Sir!”
“Do I need to take them down for you, little boy?”
No. The idea of him stripping me, as if I couldn’t do it myself… I looked daggers at him and shoved the sweatpants down again. At least I didn’t have an erection this time, thanks to my orgasm just minutes before.
Brian took my elbow and tipped me over his lap. I hugged his lower leg to balance myself without having to touch the tiles. Who knew when they’d last been mopped. Blood rushed to my head from a combination of gravity and chagrin. I closed my eyes and waited.
“Why didn’t you tell me what you were planning, Bradley?”
My breath huffed out against his sweatpants. If he wanted to talk about it, he could’ve done it with me standing up, couldn’t he? “Because it was embarrassing!” Like this.
“So you’re saying you’re allowed to keep secrets if they’re not comfortable to share?” he asked. “I thought we went over that with an essay and your first spanking?”
Flexing my knees and squeezing my thighs together, I said, “No, sir. I mean, yes, sir.”
He didn’t ask me to clarify. “If you had told me, I would’ve helped you with those feelings of embarrassment, the way I just did. I never wanted your first experience with this to be something shameful or scary.” His fingertips trailed along the inner curves of my buttocks, and I wanted to arch my back and present myself again, despite the upcoming punishment. Softly, he said, “I would’ve liked to watch you discover the pleasures of your body.”
The fantasy of him doing that did sound nice. But a fantasy was all it ever could be. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it with you watching,” I breathed out. “Not the first time.”
He stopped stroking. His voice took on a puzzled edge. “Why not? You made love to Justine for the first time with me watching.”
I had to think about it for a long time. Brian waited in silence. Neither his hand on my bottom or the one on my side, holding me in place, moved an inch.
“Because,” I said, eventually, “I knew you had gone through that before, too. A first time with a girl, I mean. But you don’t know what it’s like to be penetrated.”
He drummed his fingers on my butt cheek, as if it was a table, and stayed quiet for a few more seconds. Then he said, “So we weren’t equals in that sense. I see. It’s along the same lines as the reason I wear my uniform whenever you are required to wear yours.”
I relaxed a little. It sounded like he was starting to understand. Maybe he’d let me go without a spanking after all. “Yeah. And what if you thought I was weird for enjoying it?”
He gave a very small snort. “I don’t think it’s weird.”
Shifting my grip on his leg, I managed to push myself up enough to look over my shoulder and see his face. “Then why haven’t you done it?”
Surprise flashed over his features. “I don’t know. Never pictured myself…”
His voice dwindled, and he frowned. Was he picturing it now? I tried not to follow suit. It didn’t seem respectful.
Then he sighed. “Alright. I still think this was withholding, but your reasons make it excusable, so I won’t spank you for it this time.” His eyes met mine and hardened. “Next time you want to explore some new sex act, though, you tell Justine or I in advance. Open and honest communication is a requirement of BDSM and polyamory alike.”
“Yes, sir, I will,” I said. I was eager to agree and get off his lap. Anyway, I couldn’t imagine there’d be anything worse than this that I hadn’t told them already.
But his hand went from my side to the back of my neck and pushed until my head hung again. “Now we’ll talk about you feeling pain and not slowing down.”
Oh, come on! I thought. I’m not a baby! “Only a bit… OW!!”
Why didn’t I recall it hurting that much?!
“Do not take that sulky tone with me, little boy,” he said. His palm cupped over my buttock, where he’d swatted, and squeezed. As if he wanted to work the sting in deeper. “It doesn’t matter how much pain there was. I won’t have you injuring yourself through carelessness. This isn’t the first or second time you’ve done something unsafe while trying to get off, either, is it?”
I remembered again the ‘scene’ that landed me in the hospital. And the rope burn on my wrists from my bondage experiment last year. They took weeks to heal. I’d thought I left that foolishness behind me after Mohyeldin made me read BDSM how-to articles.
“Once is a mistake,” Brian pronounced. “Twice might be a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. You’re mature enough to think with your head, not with your dick.”
My scalp prickled with shame. “Yes, sir,” I agreed.
“The pattern ends now.”
He tightened his hold. I clutched his leg in response, steeling myself, and a millisecond later, bit down on his sweats to stop my yelps from echoing off the walls. There was nothing I could do about the cracks of his palm, though. They filled the small room the same way the horrible, sizzling fire filled every inch of skin he spanked. It burned twice as hot as I remembered.
One thing stayed the same. Like the first time, his rhythm was completely random. Some swats fell one on top of the other in a whirlwind of pain. Others were spread out and interspersed with him stroking my hip and thigh for a few seconds. I had no idea when it would be done. I just held on and tried not to kick too much.
Then, in a longer pause, I felt him bend and gently press his lips to either cheek.
“All through, pet.”
He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me to my feet. I could feel how much warmer his right palm was. Did it hurt, too? I blinked back just a couple of tears and hoped he wouldn’t notice how watery my eyes were. But he did, from the way he brushed his thumb along the lower lid beneath my lashes.
Pulling me onto his lap, he asked, “Are you okay?”
He rocked me in his arms while I shook with aftershocks.
Eventually, I noticed that my naked rear end was pressed right to the bulge of his cock. Almost like my fantasies, except neither of us were hard. “Sir?” I asked, glad I was facing away from him. “I… I do want to explore using the plug again, and I give you my word I’ll be careful, but what if I do everything right and I still faint?”
“That’s why you won’t be playing with anal unsupervised until we’re sure you’ve overcome that reaction.”
I twisted to look at him in alarm.
His dark gaze was calm. “I planned on ordering you to hand the plug over to me for use in our Saturday training sessions,” he said. “You convinced me that would be too difficult, though. So what if your mistress took control of that part of your training instead? Would you be willing to have her guide you through it on Skype?”
My mouth watered at the thought. “Um. Yeah, that… that could work.”
He smiled. “Good. I’ll tell her, and I’ll expect both of you to give me regular progress reports.”
He kissed me, then asked, “Ready to go back to Bancroft?”
I nodded and slid off his lap. He caught my waistband before I could reach for it around my knees. Quickly, I glanced over my shoulder to the mirror and went onto my tip-toes to see better. My butt was deep pink. Had it been a lighter shade the first time? Or was I just getting worse at accepting my punishments without crying?
Brian only allowed me a brief look. Then he tugged my sweatpants up and stood himself. “Let’s go. You ought to be doing homework.”
That made me think of Mohyeldin. I usually asked him to check my calculus answers. I bit my lip as Brian cracked the door to stick his head into the hallway.
“Coast is clear.” He opened it wider and walked through. I followed.
“Sir? It wasn’t Mohyeldin’s fault that I texted him instead of you.”
He looked sharply over. “I know. I said I’m not mad at him.”
“When you sent him away, it sounded like you were, though,” I pointed out, keeping my chin up and my steps even. “I think you should tell him you aren’t mad and apologize.”
“It’s only right.”
His eyes narrowed with his frown. Then he sighed. “True. We’ll go to his room first, then.”
We had to go by my room to get to his, though, and Mohyeldin was waiting there in the passageway just like he did after Brian put hot sauce on my tongue for swearing.
“Do you have to do this every time?” Brian asked as we came up. “People are going to think you’re stalking him.”
Mohyeldin crossed his arms. “Well, maybe if someone had thought to tell me the kid was okay– You are okay, aren’t you, Platypus?”
He scrutinized me. I wondered if my eyes were still red. But when he dropped his arms, all he said was, “Good. I’ll go, then.” He took a step away.
I looked at Brian.
Mohyeldin stopped and turned back.
Brian lowered his voice and went on, “Earlier, I was short-tempered with you, which you didn’t deserve after doing everything possible to ensure Bradley’s safety. I wish to express my appreciation for your fast response and discretion.”
“That’s a very long way to say, ‘I’m sorry and thank you,’” Mohyeldin said, grinning. He smacked Brian’s shoulder lightly. “You’re welcome. And no hard feelings. I know it must’ve hurt.”
“Anyway,” he added, “it’s not as though he always comes to me first when something happens. I didn’t hear about his uncle being arrested until days later.”
There was a hint of indignation in his voice there. Despite the fact I told him as soon as I could do it in person and privately. I hadn’t been able to write it out. At the time, he’d whooped, given me a fist bump, and then said, “Hang on, this happened when?” with his head tilted as if in curiosity. I got the feeling I wasn’t going to hear the end of it for awhile still.
“Yes,” said Brian, less grimly, “that’s true.”
Mohyeldin smiled again and went around the corner towards his own room, singing, “See the line where the sky meets the sea? It caaalls meeee, and no one knooo-ooows, how far it gooo-ooes. If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behiiind meeee, one day I’ll knooo-oow. If I go there’s just no telling how far I’ll go.”
When I looked at Brian this time, it was more difficult to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, too, sir,” I whispered. “I thought you were just jealous about me texting him. I didn’t mean to hurt you. He was the first person I thought of because… I don’t know. I guess because he was the first person I talked to about any of this stuff.”
“I know,” Brian said. “I even encouraged him to watch out for you when I couldn’t. He’s a good friend. But try to remember that I’m here now.”
The next day was Saturday. Since the weather had turned too cold to hang out at the City Dock, I usually went to Brian’s room first thing in the morning. His roommate was in, though. Nak and the rest of the football team were still gone for the weekend, so he came to mine instead. We sat on my rack with his iPad and called Justine.
She had a lot of questions about what led up to the fainting spell. Detailed questions. I tried my best to answer. When she pulled out a notebook and started jotting things down, Brian said, “Alright, he’s not a lab rat, you know.”
“I know, but this is so interesting,” she said.
He shook his head. “Take off the scrubs a minute and put on some leather. I have a special assignment for you.”
Her eyebrow went up. “Assignment?”
“Yes. Bradley needs to be trained to accept anal penetration without this vasovagal thing happening, and since he doesn’t feel comfortable enough yet to explore it with me, I decided his mistress should–”
“Wait a minute.” We heard her pencil slap the paper as she put it down. “You decided? You decide things about your submissives, not his mistress.”
“One of my submissives is you,” Brian said slowly, as if he thought she’d forgotten. His voice didn’t growl like this was a scene. “Yes, even when you’re dominating him. That’s what we all agreed to, remember, princess?”
Justine’s pretty face contorted into a scowl. She glared away from the camera for a few moments. Then she blew out her breath. “Sorry. Yeah, you’re right.”
“So where the hell did that come from?” Brian asked, still frowning. He pulled me closer to his side as we watched Justine shift and sigh.
She ran a hand through her blonde tresses. “I don’t know. Lately I’ve been feeling like this is the Brian and Bradley show, and I’m just in the audience, or”—she shrugged—“acting as some sort of sex toy you can dial up and then stick back in the drawer when you’re done.”
“We don’t think of you like that,” I said. I was appalled. I thought of her as a goddess.
“No?” she asked. “They why is it ever since you and him started blowing each other, I’m lucky to have an hour of actual conversation with you on Saturdays? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching your training, especially when you get so turned on that your nostrils quiver like a little bunny, but all I get to do is watch.”
“And play with yourself,” Brian said. “I seem to recall you doing a lot of that.”
I could see Justine growing madder again. Before she spat out a retort, I said, “Wouldn’t being in charge of my anal training be more than watching, my lady?”
“Not really,” she said. “Not if it’s through Skype.”
Brian sighed. “This is about Christmas break. I know you wanted us to spend it with your family, but Bradley’s mom is still settling into her new life and my parents have, for some reason, decided I’m essential to their campaign this season, and neither of us are ready to come out yet.”
“It isn’t about us coming out to my family, Bri. It’s about you guys being together all the time and me being alone, like when you were on the phone with him when all that crap happened over Thanksgiving and I only heard about it after, and like how you got to tell him you loved him first, and like yesterday!”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
Brian broke it. “Alright. I don’t want you to feel as if you’re our second choice. How can we fix this?”
“I just want for the three of us to be able to spend time together,” Justine said. “Doing relationship stuff. In person.”
“What type of activities?” Brian asked. I heard him switching into his military mindset, treating this like a mission.
Justine rolled her eyes. “Oh, I don’t know, Brian…. Bowling! That part doesn’t matter so much.”
“Seb and Mohyeldin are going to Disney World over their break,” I said.
They both looked at me.
“Of course they are; it’s Mohyeldin” Justine said. “You want to go to Disney World with them, honey?”
I shrugged. “Not necessarily with them.” I recalled now Seb saying something about that secret-blabbing brat Theo going, too. “But it would be a relationship type of thing, right?” And Seb and Mohyeldin had the strongest relationship of anyone I knew.
“Guys, we can’t afford a trip to Disney World,” Brian said.
“Don’t be so sure,” said Justine, her expression thoughtful. “The Christmas money I get from my family should cover it, with military discounts, if we drive down.”
“How much do you get?” Brian asked. Then he shook his head. “Nevermind. I’m not going on vacation to Disney World with Mohyeldin. He’ll never stop singing.”
“Who said anything about with him?” Justine asked. “Although if we happen to be there around the same time, it’d only be polite to invite them to hang out with us a few days. You know what? I really like this idea! Disney World would be a great place for the three of us to reconnect.”
Brian studied her a moment before looking at me. “Bradley, do you want to go to Disney World too?”
“If it’s what she wants.” I only wanted her to be happy.
Justine smiled. “That’s two votes for and one against. The ayes have it.”
“Three votes for and zero against,” Brian said. “We’re all in this together.”
Her smile widened, dazzling as sunshine. “Thank you. Now leave so I can start my honey-bunny’s training program. It’s about time he and I did a solo scene together.”
“Honey-bunny??” I asked.
Brian kissed my cheek and jumped to the floor. “I’ll look up room availability at Disney,” he said on his way out.
Once he’d gone, I eyed Justine nervously. “Um. Should I strip, Mistress?”
She shook her head, though. “I didn’t mean we had to scene right away. It must’ve been scary, what happened in the shower before.”
My gaze dropped to my crossed legs. Softly, I admitted, “I wondered if it was a punishment from God.”
“Oh, honey! You know He wouldn’t do that, right? It really was just a strange reflex of your nervous system. God made you the way you are, and He doesn’t make mistakes.”
An exhale took a lot of my lingering unease with it. “Yeah. Thank you, my lady. I didn’t feel like I could talk about that with Brian or Mohyeldin. They wouldn’t understand the way you do.”
“If you ever need to talk to me about this, you can call anytime,” she said. “Okay?”
I nodded. Then, swallowing, I said, “I, um, wouldn’t mind if we did a scene now, my lady.”
Her mouth formed a surprised ‘Oh!’ and her eyebrow arched. “My, aren’t you a little horndog. Alright. I think to begin with, first I should see this plug.”
As I slid off the rack to fetch it from my locker, the itch started again.